POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include
evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension,
no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and
no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love,
and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **
If you are fortunate enough you will become grandparents!
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Scripture Sunday
This is a new series I am starting today. I will take bits and parts of my devotionals, Bible studies, the sermon that is perched at church or on the radio. I hope and pray that you learn something and enjoy this new series.
Luke 15:10 Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.
So do you have true joy in you life? Do you want to know how to get it? Well, I'll tell you. If you want true joy in your life, turn joy into an acronym. J.O.Y and it stands for, Jesus first, others second, yourself last. If more people followed this acronym the world world be a much happier and peaceful place.
So I have a girlfriend in California and I was chatting with her on the phone a couple months ago. I was explaining to her that I was reading the house rules for the Duggar Family and that is where I found that acronym. Then she said, "I teach my chilren that but I just can't get them to follow it." Then I told her that the reason her children will not follow that acronym is because she and her hubby need to set the example. I am just as gulity about not setting the example. Our children deffintly learn most of what they pick up from their parents.
Luke 15:10 Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.
So do you have true joy in you life? Do you want to know how to get it? Well, I'll tell you. If you want true joy in your life, turn joy into an acronym. J.O.Y and it stands for, Jesus first, others second, yourself last. If more people followed this acronym the world world be a much happier and peaceful place.
So I have a girlfriend in California and I was chatting with her on the phone a couple months ago. I was explaining to her that I was reading the house rules for the Duggar Family and that is where I found that acronym. Then she said, "I teach my chilren that but I just can't get them to follow it." Then I told her that the reason her children will not follow that acronym is because she and her hubby need to set the example. I am just as gulity about not setting the example. Our children deffintly learn most of what they pick up from their parents.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
So it's been 6 days since my last post.
Georgia (my 5 month old) has been going to sleep at about 2 a.m. and it has been keeping my other three girls awake. So by the time the family gets up it is about 11 a.m. So then everything gets pushed back and the little extras (like posting on my blog) fall to the wayside. I do get up with Georgia at about 5 a.m. but I don't want to start my day after only 3 hours of sleep. So Today, Georgia is getting only one 1 hour nap insted of two 2 hour naps. Bedtime is at 9 p.m. and no matter what happens everyone is getting up by 7 a.m. Hopefully this will work because by the time I get the housework done it's time to feed children, bathe children, read to the children, do more housework or something that keeps me from posting. So pray that I can do this for me and my family. If anyone has any other tricks or tips I will gladly take any advice.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Divine inspiration in an unusual place.
Disclaimer: Anything stated in this post is not ment to speak badly of any of my family, it is just the story of what happened and how God showed me that He was there with me all the time.
It was the summer of 2007 and I was visiting my boys in California. I was staying at my grandparents (vegetarians) house because my ex will not let me keep the boys if I stay with any of my friends. So, since I am not in a hurry to go back to court, I do as he wishes. Anyhow, I was there about a week and all was going fine until my Aunt Shelli with her son kyle(vegetarians this is important to the story later) and my mom with my sister Lynette come to stay also. Then a day or two later my brother Nathan, his wife Kristie, and their son Kristian came to stay also.
My sister Lynette is a very good girl. She lives in Mexico with my mom. She works as a waitress (child labor laws do not exist in Mexico), and she volunteers at the local veterinarians office. She loves animals and ever since she knew what I veterinarian was she stated that she was going to be one when she got older. So one afternoon, Lynette was eating a turkey sandwich, our Aunt Shelli said, "Lynette, you must not love animals as much as you say if you are willing to eat them." Lynette responded,"Lucy (the veterinarian she works for) loves animals and she eats meat." By this time Lynette was in tears and left the room. When Lynette came back to the room I gave her a little side hug, patted her opposite hip and whispered in her ear to not pay any attention to what was said. I need to take me own advice a lot of times. So Shelli saw what was going on between Lynette and I and I guess it made her mad because she then attacked me by say, "oh come on Juliette, you are always overreacting and being dramtic." So I responded by saying, "What Shelli there is nothing better in your life so you have to abuse a 12 year old little girl." Well that really provoked her because then she started to criticize my mothering skills. She started yelling, "you abounded your boys for that bastard of a husband, you suck as a mother, you don't give a s*** about anyone but yourself!" By then my mother, grandmother, and Aunt Shelli where in the hallway all surrounding me like it was time to gang up on me. So all this yelling and slandering of me and my hubby, enraged me so I fired back with, "oh yeah, you're 38 years old, your son is 1 and now you are the expert on mothering." Then my mother and grandmother came to Shelli defense and both chimed in at the same time with, "Shelli is an excellent mother." I felt overwhelmed and defeated so I went into my room and called Guy, crying telling him that I wanted to come home. So Guy being the loving, caring hubby that he is, gave me a few suggestions. First he was very logical, he told me that the only way I could come home was to take a bus because my plane ticket was not exchangeable for a different date. Second he told me to stay in my room the rest of the night. In that time Guy recommended that I read my Bible, pray and turn in early because tomorrow is a new day, no need to carry bad feeling into a new day.
So the next day my Aunt Shelli, my mom, Lynette, my sons Devin & Alex, me, Nathan, Kristie, and Kristian were all getting ready to go to Sea World. So most of that day my boys, Lynette, Nathan, Kristie, and Kristian hung out and did our thing while my mom, Shelli, and Kyle did their thing. My mom, Shelli, and Kyle where only there for like four hours and left because my mom's health issues, Shelli was still breastfeeding and needed to pump, and Kyle because he neede to take a nap. We stayed til the park closed and had a pretty great day. So, I was feeling a lot better.
The next day my brother and his family left to go back to Utah. I was sad to see them go because I was having such a good time with them. So the plan was to go to Sea World again because we all had unlimited passes. So I was packing lunch for me, the boys and Lynette. When we got to Sea World, the boys and Lynette wanted to go on this water roller coster called Journey to Atlantis. Shelli, my mom, and Kyle went somewhere else. The plan was to meet up at some pet show after the ride. By the time we waited in line, got on the ride, ran to the pet show, we where too late, the show had already started. So the kids and me went on and did our own thing. I guess in hind sight, we could have waited but I didn't really think of that after being so getty from the roller coster. So a few hours go by and I get a call on my cell phone to bring Lynette to the front because my mom, Shelli and Kyle are leaving. So we decided to have lunch at that time anyhow. When we got up front Shelli went berserk yelling at me again that I didn't meet up with them on purpose. Then I explained what had happened and she called me a, " deceitful b***h!" Saying that I could have gotten in even after the show started. But I explained to her that there where employees at each entrance blocking anyone from getting in because they didn't want the show disrupted. Then she said, "you could have gotten in if you really wanted to." By then Lynette and Devin were in tears because of the fighting and once again I felt beat down. So I call my grandma to come and get us. I was telling my grandma what happened and she didn't say much about the whole thing. She acted like she didn't hear anything and asked what the boys and me wanted for dinner. The boys said, "pizza!" So we were off to Costco to get two extra large pizzas and that's when the Lord sent me a message. We were waiting in a very long line because it was summer, California, and dinner time. Way up at the front of the line I saw a guy with his shirt off and he had a bold print, old English script tattoo of a verse. The verse that I must have said in my head about a thousands times so I would not forget. So when we got home I went straight to my Bible and looked it up and it said John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. I called Guy right away to tell him what had happened. I was really happy because I felt God was telling me that even if there was fighting and yelling that I am truly free because I am saved. I was no longer feeling beat down and depressed. Even though things got much worse with my Aunt Shelli, I still kept my head up because I have Christ on my side and she has always turned a deaf ear the the Truth.
It was the summer of 2007 and I was visiting my boys in California. I was staying at my grandparents (vegetarians) house because my ex will not let me keep the boys if I stay with any of my friends. So, since I am not in a hurry to go back to court, I do as he wishes. Anyhow, I was there about a week and all was going fine until my Aunt Shelli with her son kyle(vegetarians this is important to the story later) and my mom with my sister Lynette come to stay also. Then a day or two later my brother Nathan, his wife Kristie, and their son Kristian came to stay also.
My sister Lynette is a very good girl. She lives in Mexico with my mom. She works as a waitress (child labor laws do not exist in Mexico), and she volunteers at the local veterinarians office. She loves animals and ever since she knew what I veterinarian was she stated that she was going to be one when she got older. So one afternoon, Lynette was eating a turkey sandwich, our Aunt Shelli said, "Lynette, you must not love animals as much as you say if you are willing to eat them." Lynette responded,"Lucy (the veterinarian she works for) loves animals and she eats meat." By this time Lynette was in tears and left the room. When Lynette came back to the room I gave her a little side hug, patted her opposite hip and whispered in her ear to not pay any attention to what was said. I need to take me own advice a lot of times. So Shelli saw what was going on between Lynette and I and I guess it made her mad because she then attacked me by say, "oh come on Juliette, you are always overreacting and being dramtic." So I responded by saying, "What Shelli there is nothing better in your life so you have to abuse a 12 year old little girl." Well that really provoked her because then she started to criticize my mothering skills. She started yelling, "you abounded your boys for that bastard of a husband, you suck as a mother, you don't give a s*** about anyone but yourself!" By then my mother, grandmother, and Aunt Shelli where in the hallway all surrounding me like it was time to gang up on me. So all this yelling and slandering of me and my hubby, enraged me so I fired back with, "oh yeah, you're 38 years old, your son is 1 and now you are the expert on mothering." Then my mother and grandmother came to Shelli defense and both chimed in at the same time with, "Shelli is an excellent mother." I felt overwhelmed and defeated so I went into my room and called Guy, crying telling him that I wanted to come home. So Guy being the loving, caring hubby that he is, gave me a few suggestions. First he was very logical, he told me that the only way I could come home was to take a bus because my plane ticket was not exchangeable for a different date. Second he told me to stay in my room the rest of the night. In that time Guy recommended that I read my Bible, pray and turn in early because tomorrow is a new day, no need to carry bad feeling into a new day.
So the next day my Aunt Shelli, my mom, Lynette, my sons Devin & Alex, me, Nathan, Kristie, and Kristian were all getting ready to go to Sea World. So most of that day my boys, Lynette, Nathan, Kristie, and Kristian hung out and did our thing while my mom, Shelli, and Kyle did their thing. My mom, Shelli, and Kyle where only there for like four hours and left because my mom's health issues, Shelli was still breastfeeding and needed to pump, and Kyle because he neede to take a nap. We stayed til the park closed and had a pretty great day. So, I was feeling a lot better.
The next day my brother and his family left to go back to Utah. I was sad to see them go because I was having such a good time with them. So the plan was to go to Sea World again because we all had unlimited passes. So I was packing lunch for me, the boys and Lynette. When we got to Sea World, the boys and Lynette wanted to go on this water roller coster called Journey to Atlantis. Shelli, my mom, and Kyle went somewhere else. The plan was to meet up at some pet show after the ride. By the time we waited in line, got on the ride, ran to the pet show, we where too late, the show had already started. So the kids and me went on and did our own thing. I guess in hind sight, we could have waited but I didn't really think of that after being so getty from the roller coster. So a few hours go by and I get a call on my cell phone to bring Lynette to the front because my mom, Shelli and Kyle are leaving. So we decided to have lunch at that time anyhow. When we got up front Shelli went berserk yelling at me again that I didn't meet up with them on purpose. Then I explained what had happened and she called me a, " deceitful b***h!" Saying that I could have gotten in even after the show started. But I explained to her that there where employees at each entrance blocking anyone from getting in because they didn't want the show disrupted. Then she said, "you could have gotten in if you really wanted to." By then Lynette and Devin were in tears because of the fighting and once again I felt beat down. So I call my grandma to come and get us. I was telling my grandma what happened and she didn't say much about the whole thing. She acted like she didn't hear anything and asked what the boys and me wanted for dinner. The boys said, "pizza!" So we were off to Costco to get two extra large pizzas and that's when the Lord sent me a message. We were waiting in a very long line because it was summer, California, and dinner time. Way up at the front of the line I saw a guy with his shirt off and he had a bold print, old English script tattoo of a verse. The verse that I must have said in my head about a thousands times so I would not forget. So when we got home I went straight to my Bible and looked it up and it said John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. I called Guy right away to tell him what had happened. I was really happy because I felt God was telling me that even if there was fighting and yelling that I am truly free because I am saved. I was no longer feeling beat down and depressed. Even though things got much worse with my Aunt Shelli, I still kept my head up because I have Christ on my side and she has always turned a deaf ear the the Truth.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Mother of Invention.
Sometimes as a mother you come across situations in your home that need an inventive solution. Like in our home the baby's car seat serves many purposes, it's a car seat, a baby carrier, a personal rocking chair for baby, and since she can not sit up yet it is also a feeding chair. So over the holidays my girls got so many toys that they out grew their toy box and everything started to spill over into the living room. I think that the minute I stepped on a toy because it was on the floor and I was holding the baby, everything had to change right then. At first hubby and me went to our local Wal Mart to buy a new toy box. But guess what, they don't sell them. So here is what I came up with. The baby's pack n play has now turned into the new toy area. Now everything is neat and off the floor.
I think that it works out great for our family for now. So is there anything that you have done in your home that you feel was rather inventive? I am always up for new ideas.
I think that it works out great for our family for now. So is there anything that you have done in your home that you feel was rather inventive? I am always up for new ideas.Thursday, December 18, 2008
Thankful Thursday
I got a call from my grandmother with some really good news.
You see I found out that my grandfather Wood has non Hodgkin Lymphoma. I was very sadden by the news because my papa is the healthiest man I know. He is a vegetarian, he plays tennis three to four times a week and he is in great shape. To be honest I really thought he would out live me.
So my papa had to have a lot of test done to see how much the cancer has spread through out his body.
Then before the test results came back my papa shattered his wrist after taking a fall while playing tennis. So he had to have surgery to have pins put in his wrist.
So my grandma call and leaves a message that the cancer is not down in the bone marrow but they can not start treatment for the cancer until the wrist starts to heal.
So I am very thankful that they caught my papa's cancer early because I want my papa to be around for a long time.
You see I found out that my grandfather Wood has non Hodgkin Lymphoma. I was very sadden by the news because my papa is the healthiest man I know. He is a vegetarian, he plays tennis three to four times a week and he is in great shape. To be honest I really thought he would out live me.
So my papa had to have a lot of test done to see how much the cancer has spread through out his body.
Then before the test results came back my papa shattered his wrist after taking a fall while playing tennis. So he had to have surgery to have pins put in his wrist.
So my grandma call and leaves a message that the cancer is not down in the bone marrow but they can not start treatment for the cancer until the wrist starts to heal.
So I am very thankful that they caught my papa's cancer early because I want my papa to be around for a long time.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thank goodness I am saved by grace & not by works.
Isaiah 64:6 But we are all as an unclean things, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags...
I am no better or no worse than any body else. Even on my best day I am a sinner.
Pro 31:1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
Pro 31:2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
Pro 31:3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
Pro 31:4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
Pro 31:5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
Pro 31:6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
Pro 31:7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Pro 31:8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
Pro 31:9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Pro 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Pro 31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
Pro 31:14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
Pro 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
Pro 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
Pro 31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
Pro 31:18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
Pro 31:19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
Pro 31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
Pro 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Pro 31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Pro 31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Pro 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Pro 31:29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Pro 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
I try to be a proverbs 31 woman everyday and everyday I fall short. There are days when I fight with my husband and I yell at my kids. There are other days when I am submissive and I know that something that my hubby wants to do is a bad idea and I'll let him do as he pleases after I have put in my two cents. Then when it goes bad I have to fight with myself not to say, "I told you so." So in the end I am a mere human.
I am no better or no worse than any body else. Even on my best day I am a sinner.
Pro 31:1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
Pro 31:2 What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
Pro 31:3 Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
Pro 31:4 It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink:
Pro 31:5 Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
Pro 31:6 Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts.
Pro 31:7 Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Pro 31:8 Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
Pro 31:9 Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.
Pro 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
Pro 31:12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Pro 31:13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
Pro 31:14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
Pro 31:15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
Pro 31:16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
Pro 31:17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
Pro 31:18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
Pro 31:19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
Pro 31:20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
Pro 31:21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
Pro 31:22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Pro 31:23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
Pro 31:24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Pro 31:25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Pro 31:26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Pro 31:27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Pro 31:28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Pro 31:29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Pro 31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Pro 31:31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
I try to be a proverbs 31 woman everyday and everyday I fall short. There are days when I fight with my husband and I yell at my kids. There are other days when I am submissive and I know that something that my hubby wants to do is a bad idea and I'll let him do as he pleases after I have put in my two cents. Then when it goes bad I have to fight with myself not to say, "I told you so." So in the end I am a mere human.
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